1
00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:10,655
?Are you ready, kids

2
00:00:10,724 --> 00:00:12,379
:Kids
!Aye, aye, Captain

3
00:00:12,448 --> 00:00:14,068
.I can't hear you

4
00:00:14,137 --> 00:00:15,620
:[louder ]
!Aye, aye, Captain

5
00:00:15,689 --> 00:00:18,965
♪ ...Oh ♪

6
00:00:19,034 --> 00:00:20,896
♪ Who lives in a pineapple
?under the sea ♪

7
00:00:20,965 --> 00:00:23,034
♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants♪

8
00:00:23,103 --> 00:00:25,206
♪ Absorbent and yellow
.and porous is he ♪

9
00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:26,931
♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants♪

10
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,000
♪ If nautical nonsense be
...something you wish ♪

11
00:00:29,068 --> 00:00:30,586
♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants♪

12
00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:33,034
♪ Then drop on the deck
.and flop like a fish ♪

13
00:00:33,103 --> 00:00:35,000
♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants♪

14
00:00:35,068 --> 00:00:36,793
♪ ?Ready
!SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

15
00:00:36,862 --> 00:00:39,793
♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

16
00:00:39,862 --> 00:00:40,931
♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

17
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,275
♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

18
00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:45,931
[laughs heartily ]

19
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,103
plays airy tune][Captioning sponsored by THE ]
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

20
00:00:49,172 --> 00:00:50,931
[and NICKELODEON

21
00:01:05,241 --> 00:01:07,827
--There it is
.Grandma's house

22
00:01:07,896 --> 00:01:10,206
What wonders
?await me today

23
00:01:10,275 --> 00:01:11,689
?Fresh-baked cookies

24
00:01:11,758 --> 00:01:13,241
?Story time

25
00:01:13,310 --> 00:01:15,758
A sweater with love
?in every stitch

26
00:01:15,827 --> 00:01:17,689
?Aw, what am I waiting for

27
00:01:17,758 --> 00:01:19,620
!Grandma, Grandma, Grandma

28
00:01:19,689 --> 00:01:22,275
!SpongeBob

29
00:01:22,344 --> 00:01:23,551
!Hi, Grandma

30
00:01:23,620 --> 00:01:26,724
.Come in and sit for a while

31
00:01:26,793 --> 00:01:29,448
,Have a cookie
.SpongeBob

32
00:01:29,517 --> 00:01:33,310
Grandma, you make
the best cookies
.in the deep blue sea

33
00:01:34,551 --> 00:01:36,965
...Oh, yeah

34
00:01:37,034 --> 00:01:39,551
[munches ]

35
00:01:39,620 --> 00:01:40,551
[gulps ]

36
00:01:40,620 --> 00:01:44,241
...Grandma's cookies

37
00:01:44,310 --> 00:01:46,793
Now, who wants to
?lick the spoon

38
00:01:46,862 --> 00:01:49,344
!Oh! Me, me, me

39
00:01:49,413 --> 00:01:52,448
And then we drove...
all the way home

40
00:01:52,517 --> 00:01:56,448
with all the windows down
.in the freezing cold

41
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:59,655
Tell me another story
.about when I was a baby

42
00:01:59,724 --> 00:02:02,344
[cuckoo clock chimes 3:00 ]

43
00:02:02,413 --> 00:02:03,689
!?gasps] 3:00 ]

44
00:02:03,758 --> 00:02:05,413
I'm going to be late
!for work

45
00:02:05,482 --> 00:02:07,206
.Hop in my car
.I'll drop you off

46
00:02:09,103 --> 00:02:10,517
!Thanks, Grandma

47
00:02:10,586 --> 00:02:13,482
...SpongeBob
!you forgot your kissy-kissy

48
00:02:13,551 --> 00:02:15,448
.I sure did

49
00:02:16,482 --> 00:02:18,344
[kisses ]

50
00:02:18,413 --> 00:02:20,103
!Bye, Grandma
!Thanks for the ride

51
00:02:20,172 --> 00:02:21,448
.Thank you, Squidward

52
00:02:21,517 --> 00:02:22,965
[others chuckling ]

53
00:02:23,034 --> 00:02:24,137
...Oh, brother

54
00:02:24,206 --> 00:02:26,862
[whistling ]

55
00:02:26,931 --> 00:02:28,551
?Isn't this great

56
00:02:28,620 --> 00:02:30,482
Everybody's
.in a good mood today

57
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:33,862
I love bursting
.your bubble, SpongeBob

58
00:02:33,931 --> 00:02:37,586
,They're laughing atyou
.not with you

59
00:02:37,655 --> 00:02:39,068
Did I do
?something funny

60
00:02:39,137 --> 00:02:41,172
.Your forehead

61
00:02:41,241 --> 00:02:42,689
?My forehead is funny

62
00:02:42,758 --> 00:02:44,793
!Hey, grandma's boy

63
00:02:44,862 --> 00:02:46,827
!Kissy-kissy-kissy

64
00:02:46,896 --> 00:02:48,965
[...all laughing ]

65
00:02:49,034 --> 00:02:52,206
!No! You're wrong

66
00:02:52,275 --> 00:02:53,827
...There
there's nothing wrong

67
00:02:53,896 --> 00:02:55,931
with getting kisses
!from your grandma

68
00:02:56,000 --> 00:03:01,482
No... especially if you're
!a big baby who wears diapers

69
00:03:01,551 --> 00:03:03,310
[all laugh ]

70
00:03:03,379 --> 00:03:05,793
And, and sucks his thumb

71
00:03:05,862 --> 00:03:07,689
and plays with dolls

72
00:03:07,758 --> 00:03:11,103
and, um, wears pajamas
with feet in them

73
00:03:11,172 --> 00:03:15,310
,and carries his, um, uh
...binky around, and, uh

74
00:03:15,379 --> 00:03:17,413
:OTHERS
!All right already

75
00:03:17,482 --> 00:03:19,000
.Cheer up, SpongeBob

76
00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:21,551
I know someone
.who still likes you

77
00:03:21,620 --> 00:03:24,448
?Really
?You do, Squidward

78
00:03:24,517 --> 00:03:26,448
!Yeah... your grandma

79
00:03:26,517 --> 00:03:28,448
[...all laughing ]

80
00:03:28,517 --> 00:03:30,344
[...laughter continues ]

81
00:03:33,344 --> 00:03:34,862
[...all laughing ]

82
00:03:36,896 --> 00:03:40,103
[grunting ]

83
00:03:40,172 --> 00:03:43,482
[all laughing ]

84
00:03:43,551 --> 00:03:46,379
!...Stop it

85
00:03:46,448 --> 00:03:50,448
I have been publicly humiliated
!for the last time

86
00:03:50,517 --> 00:03:53,034
[crying ]

87
00:03:53,103 --> 00:03:56,310
:PATRICK
I'm sorry that happened
.to you, SpongeBob

88
00:03:56,379 --> 00:03:57,793
.Me, too

89
00:03:57,862 --> 00:03:59,827
You're the most adult person
.I know

90
00:03:59,896 --> 00:04:01,000
.Thanks, Patrick

91
00:04:01,068 --> 00:04:02,758
.You know how grandmas are

92
00:04:02,827 --> 00:04:04,275
.They love babies

93
00:04:04,344 --> 00:04:07,068
You just can't act
.like a baby around her

94
00:04:07,137 --> 00:04:08,379
.You're right, Patrick

95
00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:10,517
?Have I ever not been right

96
00:04:10,586 --> 00:04:11,793
[sizzling ]

97
00:04:11,862 --> 00:04:13,068
[honking ]

98
00:04:13,137 --> 00:04:14,448
[wolf-whistle ]

99
00:04:14,517 --> 00:04:16,206
,You're a man now
SpongeBob

100
00:04:16,275 --> 00:04:18,862
and it's time you
.started acting like one

101
00:04:18,931 --> 00:04:20,448
!Yeah

102
00:04:20,517 --> 00:04:24,689
Oh... but I'm not sure
.I know how

103
00:04:24,758 --> 00:04:27,275
Allow me
.to demonstrate

104
00:04:27,344 --> 00:04:30,344
,First
.puff out your chest

105
00:04:30,413 --> 00:04:32,103
".Now say "tax exemption

106
00:04:32,172 --> 00:04:33,620
!Tax exemption

107
00:04:33,689 --> 00:04:37,413
Now you must acquire
.a taste for free-form jazz

108
00:04:37,482 --> 00:04:41,310
[trumpet plays fast jazz riff ]

109
00:04:41,379 --> 00:04:43,448
,Okay, SpongeBob
!you're ready

110
00:04:45,068 --> 00:04:46,310
.This is it

111
00:04:46,379 --> 00:04:48,137
What are you going
?to tell Grandma

112
00:04:48,206 --> 00:04:49,241
.I'm a grownup

113
00:04:49,310 --> 00:04:51,206
.No ifs, ands or buts about it

114
00:04:51,275 --> 00:04:53,517
A man's got to do
.what a man's got to do

115
00:04:53,586 --> 00:04:55,482
And then you get behind her
.and I'll push

116
00:04:55,551 --> 00:04:57,241
.Patrick, we didn't say that

117
00:04:57,310 --> 00:04:58,379
.Oh, yeah, right

118
00:04:58,448 --> 00:04:59,689
All we need now

119
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,793
is the icing
.on the maturity cake

120
00:05:01,862 --> 00:05:04,379
I've been growing
.these babies for years

121
00:05:06,517 --> 00:05:09,137
:BOTH
...Sideburns

122
00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:13,620
.Oh, hello, SpongeBob

123
00:05:13,689 --> 00:05:16,172
.What a nice surprise

124
00:05:16,241 --> 00:05:19,655
Come here, give your granny
.her kissy-kissy

125
00:05:20,586 --> 00:05:24,000
...Mmm

126
00:05:24,068 --> 00:05:25,413
[kisses ]

127
00:05:27,793 --> 00:05:30,172
,Sorry, Grandmother
.but the kissing has to stop

128
00:05:30,241 --> 00:05:32,344
.Tell her like it is, SpongeBob

129
00:05:32,413 --> 00:05:34,793
.No more baby stuff

130
00:05:34,862 --> 00:05:36,413
.He is right, Grandmother

131
00:05:36,482 --> 00:05:38,551
,Kisses are for babies
.which I am no longer

132
00:05:38,620 --> 00:05:39,620
.I have grown up

133
00:05:39,689 --> 00:05:40,896
.It is nature's way

134
00:05:40,965 --> 00:05:45,793
.Oh... you are absolutely right

135
00:05:45,862 --> 00:05:46,862
?I am

136
00:05:46,931 --> 00:05:48,758
.I mean, of course I am

137
00:05:48,827 --> 00:05:52,655
You will definitely
not be treated like a baby

138
00:05:52,724 --> 00:05:54,896
.around here ever again

139
00:05:54,965 --> 00:05:57,482
I am glad you see it
.my way, Grandmother

140
00:05:57,551 --> 00:05:59,655
:GRANDMA
Well, I'm glad
.that's settled

141
00:05:59,724 --> 00:06:01,241
But what am I
going to do

142
00:06:01,310 --> 00:06:03,379
with all these
?fresh-baked cookies

143
00:06:03,448 --> 00:06:05,068
[chuckles ]
.Sorry, Grandmother

144
00:06:05,137 --> 00:06:07,793
We adults don't partake
.in the consumption of sweets

145
00:06:07,862 --> 00:06:08,793
...Right, Pat

146
00:06:08,862 --> 00:06:10,310
?rick

147
00:06:10,379 --> 00:06:12,000
,Keep 'em coming
!Granny

148
00:06:12,068 --> 00:06:13,172
[slurping ]

149
00:06:13,241 --> 00:06:16,137
.So much for no more baby stuff

150
00:06:16,206 --> 00:06:20,344
And don't forget the
!cookie-eating hat

151
00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:21,517
[laughs ]

152
00:06:21,586 --> 00:06:22,655
[both laughing ]

153
00:06:22,724 --> 00:06:23,724
!Hey

154
00:06:23,793 --> 00:06:26,068
!That's my cookie-eating hat

155
00:06:26,137 --> 00:06:28,827
Uh... I mean, it was
!when I was a baby

156
00:06:28,896 --> 00:06:29,758
...Grr

157
00:06:30,862 --> 00:06:33,689
.Well, look who's here

158
00:06:33,758 --> 00:06:36,275
It's my big old
.adult grandson

159
00:06:36,344 --> 00:06:39,655
Grandmother, I need to have
a mature conversation

160
00:06:39,724 --> 00:06:41,068
.with Mr. Patrick

161
00:06:41,137 --> 00:06:43,793
!Patrick
!?What are you doing

162
00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,793
!Cookies! Warm milk

163
00:06:45,862 --> 00:06:47,275
!A bib

164
00:06:47,344 --> 00:06:49,310
Is that a kissy mark
?on your forehead

165
00:06:49,379 --> 00:06:50,931
!We are supposed to be adults

166
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,241
.Uh-uh-uh

167
00:06:52,310 --> 00:06:54,862
No roughhousing
.with a full tummy

168
00:06:54,931 --> 00:06:56,034
[laughing ]

169
00:06:56,103 --> 00:06:57,482
?Who's the baby

170
00:06:57,551 --> 00:07:00,172
,I'm the baby, I'm the baby
!I'm the baby

171
00:07:00,241 --> 00:07:02,241
[clears throat ]

172
00:07:02,310 --> 00:07:04,482
!Being grownup is boring

173
00:07:04,551 --> 00:07:06,413
.I love being a baby

174
00:07:06,482 --> 00:07:08,896
.Besides, I don't get jazz

175
00:07:08,965 --> 00:07:10,310
.Oh, poor Patrick

176
00:07:10,379 --> 00:07:12,586
.I almost feel sorry for you

177
00:07:14,413 --> 00:07:17,344
Trapped in the awkward phase
.of diaper days

178
00:07:17,413 --> 00:07:20,517
Never to know
the rich rewards
.of being a grownup

179
00:07:20,586 --> 00:07:22,931
.Here's a fresh batch of cookies

180
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,275
!All right

181
00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:26,448
[munching ]

182
00:07:26,517 --> 00:07:28,413
?Rewards, huh

183
00:07:28,482 --> 00:07:29,758
...Well, yeah, there's

184
00:07:29,827 --> 00:07:31,379
[munching ]

185
00:07:31,448 --> 00:07:33,551
...Let's see, we, uh

186
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:34,689
.we went over the jazz

187
00:07:36,137 --> 00:07:38,344
[munching ]

188
00:07:40,137 --> 00:07:42,620
,Oh, Grandma
.I'm full

189
00:07:42,689 --> 00:07:44,103
.More cookies

190
00:07:45,620 --> 00:07:49,586
[...vacuum cleaner running ]

191
00:07:53,172 --> 00:07:54,931
[whistling ]

192
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,724
.It appears to be my lunch hour

193
00:07:56,793 --> 00:07:58,275
.Grownups have to eat, too

194
00:07:58,344 --> 00:08:00,241
.I guess this will have to do

195
00:08:00,310 --> 00:08:02,620
:GRANDMA
Oh, you don't want
.this baby food

196
00:08:02,689 --> 00:08:06,137
How about a big piece
?of steamed coral

197
00:08:06,206 --> 00:08:08,655
.Oh, yeah, uh... great

198
00:08:08,724 --> 00:08:10,586
[crunching ]

199
00:08:10,655 --> 00:08:11,896
!Nutritious

200
00:08:11,965 --> 00:08:13,827
:GRANDMA
!Story time

201
00:08:13,896 --> 00:08:17,310
,Oh, boy! Story time
!story time, story time

202
00:08:17,379 --> 00:08:19,275
?Story time

203
00:08:19,344 --> 00:08:20,965
,You'll enjoy this
.Patrick

204
00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:24,689
It's a wonderful story
.about a magical sea leprechaun

205
00:08:24,758 --> 00:08:28,896
Oh, SpongeBob, you wouldn't be
.interested in this babybook

206
00:08:28,965 --> 00:08:32,931
Here's the technical manual
.on Routine Active Maintenance

207
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,310
.Oh, uh, great

208
00:08:34,379 --> 00:08:36,137
.Yeah... fascinating

209
00:08:36,206 --> 00:08:39,206
No pictures, just the way
.I like it

210
00:08:39,275 --> 00:08:40,758
[munching ]

211
00:08:40,827 --> 00:08:41,793
[crunch ]

212
00:08:41,862 --> 00:08:44,896
!Ohh! My wittle finger

213
00:08:44,965 --> 00:08:47,517
,Hold still
.hold still

214
00:08:47,586 --> 00:08:49,068
[kisses ]

215
00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:50,793
?All better

216
00:08:50,862 --> 00:08:52,275
:PATRICK
...Sorta

217
00:08:52,344 --> 00:08:54,517
This finger hurts
.a little bit, too

218
00:08:54,586 --> 00:08:56,379
[Grandma kisses ]

219
00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:59,000
How about I give you
?a present

220
00:08:59,068 --> 00:09:01,620
!Oh, boy, I hope it's cookies

221
00:09:02,758 --> 00:09:04,172
!All right

222
00:09:04,241 --> 00:09:05,344
!Another hat

223
00:09:05,413 --> 00:09:08,103
.No, Patrick, it's a sweater

224
00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:09,586
?Huh

225
00:09:09,655 --> 00:09:12,068
.With love in every stitch

226
00:09:12,137 --> 00:09:13,137
...No

227
00:09:16,620 --> 00:09:19,482
Don't I get
,a present
?Grandma

228
00:09:19,551 --> 00:09:22,793
.Oh, I almost forgot

229
00:09:22,862 --> 00:09:24,724
Here's some
.office supplies

230
00:09:24,793 --> 00:09:26,344
.I didn't wrap them

231
00:09:26,413 --> 00:09:28,068
I knew
.you wouldn't mind

232
00:09:28,137 --> 00:09:30,413
[clock chimes 3:00 ]

233
00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:32,310
.Uh-oh, 3:00

234
00:09:32,379 --> 00:09:34,448
.Time for adults to go to work

235
00:09:34,517 --> 00:09:36,448
.Bye-bye, SpongeBob

236
00:09:36,517 --> 00:09:40,103
I'll bet you would fancy
?a nap, huh, Patrick

237
00:09:40,172 --> 00:09:41,862
[Patrick yawns ]

238
00:09:41,931 --> 00:09:44,724
:GRANDMA
,You're still here
?SpongeBob

239
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:47,000
.Uh... I don't have to leave yet

240
00:09:47,068 --> 00:09:49,034
.I... can be late for work

241
00:09:49,103 --> 00:09:52,689
No, no, no. That wouldn't
.be the adult thing to do

242
00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:56,206
,All right, uh
.I guess I'll be going

243
00:09:56,275 --> 00:09:59,620
I've, uh, got a lot
of adult-type business

244
00:09:59,689 --> 00:10:01,310
,to take care of
...so, uh

245
00:10:01,379 --> 00:10:02,689
.I'll see you later

246
00:10:02,758 --> 00:10:04,965
Okay. Thanks for
.stopping by, SpongeBob

247
00:10:05,034 --> 00:10:07,000
.Yup, that is it

248
00:10:07,068 --> 00:10:08,310
.Here I go

249
00:10:08,379 --> 00:10:10,413
Come again if you
.get the chance

250
00:10:10,482 --> 00:10:13,137
,Out into the cold
...grownup world

251
00:10:13,206 --> 00:10:15,344
.alone... without a sweater

252
00:10:15,413 --> 00:10:17,413
.Toodle-oo

253
00:10:17,482 --> 00:10:19,206
.I don't know when I'll be back

254
00:10:19,275 --> 00:10:21,068
.I know how busy you are

255
00:10:21,137 --> 00:10:23,931
.So, uh... that's it

256
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,344
.Shh... he's asleep

257
00:10:26,413 --> 00:10:31,551
...So... long

258
00:10:35,413 --> 00:10:36,862
!I don't want to grow up

259
00:10:36,931 --> 00:10:38,413
!I want cookies

260
00:10:38,482 --> 00:10:40,379
!And milky

261
00:10:40,448 --> 00:10:43,551
I want a sweater
!with love in the stitches

262
00:10:43,620 --> 00:10:45,758
!I want to wear didies

263
00:10:45,827 --> 00:10:47,965
!I want to ride in my wagon

264
00:10:48,034 --> 00:10:51,793
I want to cuddle-wuddle
!with Mr. Stuffykins

265
00:10:51,862 --> 00:10:56,275
I want to rocky-rock
!on my seahorsey

266
00:10:56,344 --> 00:10:59,586
And I want kissy-kissy
!on my boo-boo

267
00:10:59,655 --> 00:11:00,896
[crying ]

268
00:11:00,965 --> 00:11:03,482
[...crying ]

269
00:11:10,551 --> 00:11:12,172
[...continues ]

270
00:11:12,241 --> 00:11:16,172
[...wailing ]

271
00:11:16,241 --> 00:11:18,586
[...continues ]

272
00:11:18,655 --> 00:11:21,448
ratcheting ]
[...like lawn sprinkler

273
00:11:28,034 --> 00:11:31,862
!Take it easy, SpongeBob

274
00:11:31,931 --> 00:11:33,275
...SpongeBob

275
00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:35,241
!SpongeBob

276
00:11:35,310 --> 00:11:39,862
[crying and panting ]

277
00:11:41,172 --> 00:11:43,344
You don't have to
be a baby

278
00:11:43,413 --> 00:11:45,413
to get
.Old Grandma's love

279
00:11:45,482 --> 00:11:46,379
[sniffles ]

280
00:11:46,448 --> 00:11:47,379
?I don't

281
00:11:47,448 --> 00:11:49,137
.Of course not

282
00:11:49,206 --> 00:11:51,413
No matter
how grownup you get

283
00:11:51,482 --> 00:11:54,413
you will always be
.my Little Baby Boo

284
00:11:54,482 --> 00:11:56,379
[kisses ]

285
00:11:56,448 --> 00:11:58,793
And remember, you can
kiss your Grandma

286
00:11:58,862 --> 00:12:00,344
.and still be an adult

287
00:12:00,413 --> 00:12:02,551
.Here you go

288
00:12:04,310 --> 00:12:06,103
.Thanks, Grandma

289
00:12:06,172 --> 00:12:09,965
[munching and sighing ]

290
00:12:10,034 --> 00:12:12,206
,Uh, Grandma
could you not mention this

291
00:12:12,275 --> 00:12:14,137
to the guys
?down at The Krusty Krab

292
00:12:14,206 --> 00:12:16,413
.No problem

293
00:12:16,482 --> 00:12:17,448
[squeak ]

294
00:12:17,517 --> 00:12:19,000
[Squidward snickers ]

295
00:12:19,068 --> 00:12:22,241
[...all laughing ]

296
00:12:36,137 --> 00:12:38,620
[SpongeBob shrieks ]

297
00:12:38,689 --> 00:12:40,275
[panting ]

298
00:12:41,793 --> 00:12:44,793
Patrick, look, I
[got my... [ gasps

299
00:12:47,862 --> 00:12:49,275
[laughs ]

300
00:12:49,344 --> 00:12:50,724
.I'm sorry, Patrick

301
00:12:50,793 --> 00:12:52,103
,It's just
...for a second I thought

302
00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:56,103
Hey, you got the same
!reef-blower as me

303
00:12:56,172 --> 00:12:57,275
[whirs loudly ]

304
00:12:57,344 --> 00:12:58,413
!Tag, you're it

305
00:12:58,482 --> 00:13:00,000
[laughs ]

306
00:13:00,068 --> 00:13:01,965
[loud whirring, both laughing ]

307
00:13:02,034 --> 00:13:04,034
[laughs ]

308
00:13:04,103 --> 00:13:05,689
[whirring ]

309
00:13:05,758 --> 00:13:08,103
[laughs ]

310
00:13:08,172 --> 00:13:09,000
[laughs ]

311
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,655
[whirring ]

312
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,000
...Patrick

313
00:13:15,068 --> 00:13:17,000
you made my house
!sparkly clean

314
00:13:17,068 --> 00:13:18,517
!Sure did

315
00:13:18,586 --> 00:13:20,931
We haven't improved
.Squidward's day yet

316
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,241
!Let's do his house

317
00:13:22,310 --> 00:13:23,655
[whirring ]

318
00:13:23,724 --> 00:13:25,000
[creaking ]

319
00:13:25,068 --> 00:13:26,413
[laughs ]

320
00:13:26,482 --> 00:13:27,413
!My turn

321
00:13:27,482 --> 00:13:29,586
[whirring ]

322
00:13:29,655 --> 00:13:31,724
!?What's going on out here

323
00:13:31,793 --> 00:13:33,862
We're playing
.with our new reef-blowers

324
00:13:33,931 --> 00:13:35,965
?Playing with a reef-blower

325
00:13:36,034 --> 00:13:39,482
That is the most childish thing
!I've ever heard of

326
00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:40,862
!But it's fun

327
00:13:40,931 --> 00:13:42,827
Fun? How could playing

328
00:13:42,896 --> 00:13:47,448
with one of those oversized
?hair dryers possibly be fun

329
00:13:47,517 --> 00:13:48,931
:PATRICK
.Like this

330
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,379
[whirring ]

331
00:13:51,448 --> 00:13:53,206
[grunting ]

332
00:13:53,275 --> 00:13:54,586
!Chafed

333
00:13:54,655 --> 00:13:56,103
...All right, that's

334
00:13:56,172 --> 00:13:57,965
[whirring ]

335
00:13:58,034 --> 00:13:59,344
,Let's do your house
.Patrick

336
00:13:59,413 --> 00:14:00,344
!Yeah

337
00:14:01,482 --> 00:14:02,586
?Huh

338
00:14:02,655 --> 00:14:04,827
[panting, sizzling ]

339
00:14:04,896 --> 00:14:06,517
:SPONGEBOB
,Squidward
!you're steaming

340
00:14:06,586 --> 00:14:09,310
You're like a steamed
.vegetable, only smarter

341
00:14:09,379 --> 00:14:11,172
!Put my windows back

342
00:14:11,241 --> 00:14:12,793
,No problem
.Squidward

343
00:14:12,862 --> 00:14:13,862
We're on
.your side

344
00:14:13,931 --> 00:14:14,931
[whirring ]

345
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,275
...Any second now

346
00:14:24,827 --> 00:14:26,103
...SpongeBob

347
00:14:26,172 --> 00:14:27,931
this is
.the final straw

348
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,310
I am going to move
so far away

349
00:14:30,379 --> 00:14:33,241
that I will be able
.to brag about it

350
00:14:33,310 --> 00:14:35,206
...I would
[clunk ]

351
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,689
I would rather
tear out my brain stem

352
00:14:37,758 --> 00:14:39,344
carry it
into the middle

353
00:14:39,413 --> 00:14:41,620
of the nearest
four-way intersection

354
00:14:41,689 --> 00:14:43,241
and skip rope with it

355
00:14:43,310 --> 00:14:45,275
than go on living
.where I do now

356
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,413
.Hi there

357
00:14:48,482 --> 00:14:50,206
?Is this the final straw

358
00:14:50,275 --> 00:14:53,172
Do you want to move so far away
?that you can brag about it

359
00:14:53,241 --> 00:14:55,310
Would you rather
tear out your brain stem

360
00:14:55,379 --> 00:14:57,931
walk out into the middle
...of the nearest three-way

361
00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,103
...Four-way

362
00:14:59,172 --> 00:15:00,310
Four-wayintersection

363
00:15:00,379 --> 00:15:01,862
and skip rope with it

364
00:15:01,931 --> 00:15:03,655
than continue living
?where you do now

365
00:15:03,724 --> 00:15:05,000
...Then move to
[static ]

366
00:15:05,068 --> 00:15:06,655
.I hate this channel

367
00:15:06,724 --> 00:15:08,344
!No, no

368
00:15:08,413 --> 00:15:09,827
.Tentacle Acres...

369
00:15:09,896 --> 00:15:12,379
Where happiness is
.just a suction cup away

370
00:15:12,448 --> 00:15:13,310
[pop ]

371
00:15:18,241 --> 00:15:19,275
?Hello

372
00:15:19,344 --> 00:15:21,586
?Yes, can I help you

373
00:15:21,655 --> 00:15:23,275
.I'm here about the happiness

374
00:15:23,344 --> 00:15:24,551
.I'll be moving in now

375
00:15:24,620 --> 00:15:26,517
?Are you alone

376
00:15:26,586 --> 00:15:29,275
,No... I mean, yes
.there's nobody with me, yes

377
00:15:29,344 --> 00:15:30,724
.Peace and quiet

378
00:15:30,793 --> 00:15:33,344
Are you now or have you
?ever been a sponge

379
00:15:33,413 --> 00:15:34,344
.No

380
00:15:34,413 --> 00:15:35,344
...What about a

381
00:15:35,413 --> 00:15:36,758
.No, no starfish

382
00:15:36,827 --> 00:15:39,172
,Just a regular, normal
...peace-loving

383
00:15:39,241 --> 00:15:41,758
[loud rumbling ]

384
00:15:41,827 --> 00:15:43,758
[doors creaking ]

385
00:15:51,965 --> 00:15:53,724
[kids laughing ]

386
00:15:53,793 --> 00:15:56,655
...Heaven at last

387
00:15:56,724 --> 00:15:57,862
:BOTH
!Ohh

388
00:15:57,931 --> 00:15:59,620
I've seen
more alert people

389
00:15:59,689 --> 00:16:01,586
!in a retirement home

390
00:16:01,655 --> 00:16:04,827
Oh, which way to
the Living Without
?a Brain seminar

391
00:16:04,896 --> 00:16:06,137
!Don't be late

392
00:16:06,206 --> 00:16:08,000
I've heard
better comebacks

393
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:09,310
from a turkey
!sandwich

394
00:16:09,379 --> 00:16:10,448
!Get a life

395
00:16:11,896 --> 00:16:15,551
This place is better
!than I expected

396
00:16:15,620 --> 00:16:20,275
.302... 303... and 304

397
00:16:20,344 --> 00:16:21,827
!Beautiful

398
00:16:21,896 --> 00:16:23,758
.And not a pineapple in sight

399
00:16:28,551 --> 00:16:30,620
.Good night, Clary

400
00:16:30,689 --> 00:16:33,965
.Tomorrow we begin life anew

401
00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:35,793
[phone ringing ]

402
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:38,827
,304 New Life Street
.Squidward speaking

403
00:16:38,896 --> 00:16:41,275
[SpongeBob babbling ]

404
00:16:41,344 --> 00:16:44,689
There is no way I am moving
!back there, SpongeBob

405
00:16:44,758 --> 00:16:47,000
.I am finally among my own kind

406
00:16:47,068 --> 00:16:48,689
[SpongeBob babbling ]

407
00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:49,896
!Now good-bye

408
00:16:49,965 --> 00:16:52,137
[babbling ]

409
00:16:52,206 --> 00:16:54,551
[babbling ]

410
00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:56,793
[rooster crows ]

411
00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:02,379
[inhales deeply ]

412
00:17:02,448 --> 00:17:04,620
...Ahh

413
00:17:04,689 --> 00:17:08,103
.I think I'll take my bike today

414
00:17:08,172 --> 00:17:10,413
[...creaking ]

415
00:17:10,482 --> 00:17:12,344
.I'm my own man

416
00:17:12,413 --> 00:17:13,241
[clunk ]

417
00:17:17,482 --> 00:17:20,551
Now, these neighbors
.know how to live

418
00:17:23,724 --> 00:17:26,137
!...Intensive

419
00:17:26,206 --> 00:17:28,344
...Hmm... I bet they won't have

420
00:17:28,413 --> 00:17:31,034
[gasps ]
!Wow! They have it

421
00:17:31,103 --> 00:17:32,827
!Canned bread

422
00:17:32,896 --> 00:17:35,413
!This town is great

423
00:17:35,482 --> 00:17:38,482
I would really be
...impressed if it had

424
00:17:38,551 --> 00:17:42,275
!an interpretive dance academy

425
00:17:42,344 --> 00:17:43,413
[...music playing ]

426
00:17:45,206 --> 00:17:49,137
Yeah... it's even better
!in a group

427
00:17:49,206 --> 00:17:51,103
!This town is perfect

428
00:17:51,172 --> 00:17:53,413
[...clarinets playing ]

429
00:17:53,482 --> 00:17:55,655
!?A clarinet trio

430
00:17:57,793 --> 00:18:00,068
[...all playing ]

431
00:18:01,586 --> 00:18:05,206
[rooster crows ]

432
00:18:05,275 --> 00:18:06,655
[inhales deeply ]

433
00:18:06,724 --> 00:18:09,241
!Ahh... another great day

434
00:18:09,310 --> 00:18:11,137
.Oh, look

435
00:18:11,206 --> 00:18:13,172
.Everybody's on their bike today

436
00:18:15,689 --> 00:18:17,965
.It just gets better and better

437
00:18:18,034 --> 00:18:19,034
.All together

438
00:18:19,103 --> 00:18:20,034
[all playing ]

439
00:18:44,448 --> 00:18:50,206
I sort of... don't feel
.like playing my clarinet today

440
00:18:54,862 --> 00:18:57,172
.Yup, this is great

441
00:18:57,241 --> 00:19:01,344
They might as well rename
.this town Squidward's Paradise

442
00:19:01,413 --> 00:19:04,517
.Or perhaps... Too Much Paradise

443
00:19:05,482 --> 00:19:06,620
[whirring ]

444
00:19:06,689 --> 00:19:07,551
?SpongeBob

445
00:19:18,379 --> 00:19:20,758
...Feh

446
00:19:25,758 --> 00:19:26,689
[...whirring ]

447
00:19:26,758 --> 00:19:27,620
[laughs ]

448
00:19:28,896 --> 00:19:30,965
[whistling ]

449
00:19:31,034 --> 00:19:31,896
.Oops

450
00:19:35,413 --> 00:19:37,413
[whirring ]

451
00:19:37,482 --> 00:19:38,448
!Ohh

452
00:19:38,517 --> 00:19:39,689
[grunting ]

453
00:19:41,034 --> 00:19:42,448
[grunts ]

454
00:19:42,517 --> 00:19:44,448
[chuckles ]

455
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:45,655
[clears throat ]

456
00:19:45,724 --> 00:19:46,862
.Leaves

457
00:19:46,931 --> 00:19:50,068
.Just getting the leaves

458
00:19:53,655 --> 00:19:55,517
[whirring ]

459
00:19:55,586 --> 00:19:58,965
[chuckles ]

460
00:19:59,034 --> 00:20:00,482
[whirring ]

461
00:20:00,551 --> 00:20:04,896
[laughing ]

462
00:20:04,965 --> 00:20:05,896
[whirring ]

463
00:20:05,965 --> 00:20:06,896
[laughs ]

464
00:20:06,965 --> 00:20:07,896
[whirring ]

465
00:20:07,965 --> 00:20:08,896
!Oof

466
00:20:08,965 --> 00:20:11,896
[laughs ]

467
00:20:11,965 --> 00:20:15,931
Could you pipe down
?over there, Iron Lung

468
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,103
[both laugh ]

469
00:20:19,172 --> 00:20:20,931
[whirring ]

470
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,620
[laughs ]

471
00:20:23,689 --> 00:20:26,655
Looks like when it comes
to having fun

472
00:20:26,724 --> 00:20:29,206
you don't have
.a leg to stand on

473
00:20:29,275 --> 00:20:32,931
[laughing ]

474
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,827
!Hey, that's not funny

475
00:20:35,896 --> 00:20:37,137
!Yeah

476
00:20:37,206 --> 00:20:38,551
What's going on
?over here

477
00:20:38,620 --> 00:20:40,034
.It's that guy

478
00:20:40,103 --> 00:20:42,862
He's playing
.with a reef-blower

479
00:20:42,931 --> 00:20:45,862
?Playing? With a reef-blower

480
00:20:45,931 --> 00:20:49,448
That's the most childish thing
.I've ever heard of

481
00:20:49,517 --> 00:20:51,275
.But it's fun

482
00:20:51,344 --> 00:20:53,241
[laughs ]

483
00:20:53,310 --> 00:20:55,517
How could you
possibly have fun

484
00:20:55,586 --> 00:20:58,344
with one of those
?oversized hair dryers

485
00:20:58,413 --> 00:20:59,517
!Like this

486
00:20:59,586 --> 00:21:00,896
[whirring ]

487
00:21:00,965 --> 00:21:03,655
[clarinet tooting ]

488
00:21:03,724 --> 00:21:06,482
!Ahh! Give it back! Please

489
00:21:06,551 --> 00:21:08,482
[whirring ]

490
00:21:08,551 --> 00:21:11,620
[laughing ]

491
00:21:13,241 --> 00:21:14,172
!Tag, you're it

492
00:21:14,241 --> 00:21:15,172
[whirring ]

493
00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:16,172
!...Whoa

494
00:21:16,241 --> 00:21:17,172
[laughing ]

495
00:21:17,241 --> 00:21:20,344
?What can I get you boys

496
00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:25,379
[...whirring ]

497
00:21:25,448 --> 00:21:26,793
[...laughing ]

498
00:21:29,206 --> 00:21:31,000
What are you
?looking at

499
00:21:31,068 --> 00:21:32,379
.Those

500
00:21:32,448 --> 00:21:34,206
:SPONGEBOB
.Here it is, Patrick

501
00:21:34,275 --> 00:21:37,379
Now we've just got to convince
.Squidward to come back home

502
00:21:37,448 --> 00:21:38,655
?You got our apology cake

503
00:21:43,241 --> 00:21:45,000
!We're ready

504
00:21:45,068 --> 00:21:46,517
!Yay

505
00:21:46,586 --> 00:21:48,965
?Hello, can I help you

506
00:21:49,034 --> 00:21:51,517
Can I get
a large number
?one, extra size

507
00:21:51,586 --> 00:21:55,482
But you just ate three orders
.of fried oyster skins

508
00:21:55,551 --> 00:21:57,689
...I love
.fried oyster skins

509
00:21:57,758 --> 00:22:01,344
We're sorry, but your kind
.isn't allowed here

510
00:22:01,413 --> 00:22:02,931
,He's not leaving
.Orville

511
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,655
You got your
?nightstick ready

512
00:22:04,724 --> 00:22:05,827
[sniffs ]

513
00:22:05,896 --> 00:22:08,586
!?Fried oyster skins
...Oh

514
00:22:08,655 --> 00:22:09,655
[buzz ]

515
00:22:09,724 --> 00:22:11,103
[doors creak ]

516
00:22:11,172 --> 00:22:12,827
I guess we got to
.order inside

517
00:22:12,896 --> 00:22:14,137
[yelling ]

518
00:22:14,206 --> 00:22:15,379
[laughing ]

519
00:22:15,448 --> 00:22:17,517
[whirring ]

520
00:22:17,586 --> 00:22:19,000
[laughing ]

521
00:22:19,068 --> 00:22:20,620
[crowd yelling ]

522
00:22:20,689 --> 00:22:22,068
[laughing ]

523
00:22:22,137 --> 00:22:23,965
Hey! That looked
!like Squidward

524
00:22:24,034 --> 00:22:25,275
[yelling ]

525
00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:26,793
That looked
like Squidward also

526
00:22:26,862 --> 00:22:27,827
.in angry mob form

527
00:22:29,620 --> 00:22:33,103
,Hold it right there
!Mr. Tentacles

528
00:22:33,172 --> 00:22:35,482
!Stay back
!I got gardening tools

529
00:22:35,551 --> 00:22:37,724
,Here
!just read this

530
00:22:37,793 --> 00:22:39,793
?What is it

531
00:22:39,862 --> 00:22:43,551
A well thought-out and
.organized list of complaints

532
00:22:43,620 --> 00:22:45,344
[crowd yelling ]

533
00:22:45,413 --> 00:22:48,103
,Patrick, look
!it's Squidward

534
00:22:48,172 --> 00:22:51,137
!Squidward
!We finally found you

535
00:22:51,206 --> 00:22:52,827
!Get off me

536
00:22:52,896 --> 00:22:54,551
.I'm not Squidward

537
00:22:56,034 --> 00:22:57,793
Are you
?Squidward now

538
00:22:57,862 --> 00:22:58,965
!?Grievances

539
00:22:59,034 --> 00:23:00,344
!This town is a grievance

540
00:23:00,413 --> 00:23:02,034
There should be a law

541
00:23:02,103 --> 00:23:05,137
against so many stuck-up
!tightwads living in one place

542
00:23:05,206 --> 00:23:08,103
This city needs
!to be destroyed

543
00:23:08,172 --> 00:23:10,862
Or at least painted
.a different color

544
00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:15,448
F.Y.I., you don't
,have to live here
.you know

545
00:23:15,517 --> 00:23:17,931
!Hey, you're right

546
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,517
.And I'm leaving A.S.A.P

547
00:23:20,586 --> 00:23:21,655
?Are you Squidward

548
00:23:21,724 --> 00:23:22,689
.No

549
00:23:22,758 --> 00:23:23,827
?Are you Squidward

550
00:23:23,896 --> 00:23:24,827
.No

551
00:23:24,896 --> 00:23:26,068
?Are you Squidward

552
00:23:27,517 --> 00:23:28,827
,That's okay
.take your time

553
00:23:28,896 --> 00:23:30,206
Any one
of these Squidwards

554
00:23:30,275 --> 00:23:31,931
could be the real
.Squidward, Patrick

555
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:32,931
[boom ]

556
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:34,448
[whooshing ]

557
00:23:34,517 --> 00:23:36,206
!Whoa-ho, freedom

558
00:23:36,275 --> 00:23:37,931
!Whoo-hoo

559
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,655
[Squidward laughing ]

560
00:23:39,724 --> 00:23:41,379
...Well, we know one thing

561
00:23:41,448 --> 00:23:43,103
.It sure isn't that guy

562
00:23:43,172 --> 00:23:44,724
!Whoo-hoo-ee

563
00:23:47,931 --> 00:23:52,000
Captioning sponsored by THE]
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

564
00:23:52,068 --> 00:23:54,000
[and NICKELODEON

565
00:23:56,482 --> 00:24:00,482
Captioned byThe Caption Center]
[WGBH Educational Foundation